Faith is a Decision
Faith is a decision. It’s the decision to keep loving, to keep being kind, to be patient, to think of others, and to do your best to follow Jesus, regardless of your circumstances, regardless of your trials, despite how you feel, and despite opposition. It’s moving forward. It’s being the person you know you’re supposed to be … without waiting. So many people wait. They say, “I can be kinder when ….” They say, “I will be able to give when ….” And then they point to circumstances, situations or people that allegedly hold them back as the justification for holding back. Faith doesn’t wait. It acts even though the circumstances aren’t ideal, even though there’s opposition, even though there is less than perfect understanding, even though there is doubt.
I feel terrible on most days. With a paralyzed stomach and gastrointestinal system, you constantly feel nauseous, bloated and gross. I have constant chronic nerve pain from my malnutrition. The vertebrae in my back grind on each other–sometimes with every move. It would be so easy for me to wait. It would be so easy to say, “I can be kinder when … I feel better.” It would be so easy to say, “I’ll be able to give when … I’m not so sick.” But when you realize you may never be free from nausea, sickness and pain, you realize that you either must move forward and push through the obstacles or sit and let the obstacles hold you back. You also realize that there will always be obstacles. But you have to move forward. You have to keep living.
You don’t have the option to say, “I’ll be a father when ….”
You don’t have the option to say, “I’ll go to work when ….”
You don’t have the option to say, “I’ll be a good husband when ….”
You play with the kids … when you’re sick.
You go to work … when your insides are bubbling like a cauldron.
You go on walks with and listen to your wife … when you feel like puking.
You go on with life. You choose to live. Despite how you feel. Faith is the decision to push through and do the things you know you need to do and be the person you know you need to be. It eliminates excuses. It runs from rationalizations. It hides from hesitation. Jesus was well aware of our human tendency to wait for things to be ideal and convenient. But fair weather discipleship is not discipleship at all, as we learn from this account in Matthew 8:
18 Now when Jesus saw great multitudes about him, he gave commandment to depart unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe came, and said unto him, Master, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.
20 And Jesus saith unto him, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.
21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.
What did Jesus mean when he said to the excuse-maker “let the dead bury their dead?” I think one possible meaning is that if you choose to let circumstance hold you back, you are not living. You might as well be dead. If you choose to let the inevitable obstacles of life prevent you from getting on with your discipleship, from doing what you need to do, from being who you need to be, you’re not living.
So reach deep down inside and stop making excuses. Don’t wait for the sun to shine. Don’t wait until you feel better. Don’t wait until the clouds have parted. Don’t wait until you understand everything perfectly. Don’t wait until all of your fears or worries are resolved. Just get on with it. Move forward, even if you don’t know why, even if you don’t know whether it will work. Have the courage to do what you need to do and be who you need to be, despite how you feel and in spite of your circumstances. That, my friend, is faith. THAT is what moves mountains.